The President’s Scone

The president made an unexpected appearance while I was waiting to present a poster on my project. She caught me in the act of helping myself to the food laid on for her party of visiting dignitaries. I was applying cream to an already buttered and jammed scone. She challenged me on British baking product […]

The Visiting Statisticians

Our product was getting bad reviews and management were panicking. We weren’t panicking because we knew that it was shit. It had always been shit, but everyone who spoke openly about it being shit had been made redundant. Those of us who stayed learned to lie about it. We started to smoke our own crack. […]

Imaginary Stash Sniffing

As my boss droned on my mind wandered, though I was careful to ensure that I kept the appearance of listening by avoiding staring into space and nodding occasionally. But internally I was at home, unscrewing the purple lid from the clear plastic pot that I use to store ground weed, inserting my nose and […]